3 toxic engineering leader types

learning from my big tech career

By the time you get Senior level in Big Tech, you’ve worked under all kinds of engineering leads/managers. Some are fine. A few are great. But there are others, the ones who wreck teams.

These are the leaders that slow everything down, wear people out, and make good engineers want to leave.

The first type is The Hero Blocker. These are smart, and that’s the problem. They need to be the smartest person in the room. Every idea you bring feels like a threat. They question your work, not to make it better, but to show they know more. They hide this as “high standards”, but it’s their ego under the hood. Over time, the team stops sharing bold ideas. It’s not worth the fight. You play it safe.

The Pusher. This one is always in a hurry. Everything is urgent. Every project is behind. Every ask is “just a small favor”. They don’t code, but they’ll push timelines like they do. They don’t ask how you’re doing, only when it’ll be done. At first, it feels like momentum. Then it becomes chaos. You burn nights and weekends to meet made-up deadlines. You stop thinking long-term. You start cutting corners. Pushers don’t mean to break their teams. But they do it anyway by never letting up.

The third type is The Proxy. This type doesn’t understand the work, and they don’t try to. They sit in meetings, nod a lot, and then repeat what you said to their boss like it was their idea. When it’s time to present to leadership, they speak for you. When there’s a problem, they vanish. You do the real work. They take the credit. Over time, this gets tiresome. Not because you need applause, but because you need a leader who has your back. The Proxy never does.

Tech is full of these types. And they don’t always fail fast. Some get promoted. Some are seen as “strong operators”. But they leave behind teams that are tired, and slowly giving up. The engineers leave because their best work gets ignored, blocked, or stolen. And if you’ve worked under one of these "leaders", you know the exact moment when the light goes out.

Surviving bad leadership teaches you what good should feel like. They clear the path, share the wins, and protect the team. When you find one, you don’t forget it. Right?

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Until next time,
Adlet

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