Are You Really Choosing, or Just Clicking What They Show You?
A Reminder About Algorithms, You, and That Sudden Urge to Buy Things You Didn’t Know You Needed
Let me tell you how I lost 45 minutes of my life the other night.
I opened YouTube “just to check something,” and somehow ended up scrolling through YouTube Shorts. A dog skateboarding, a 10-second life hack, a clip from an old stand-up special. Before I knew it, I’d watched dozens of tiny videos—all weirdly aligned with my sense of humor, interests, and moods.
I didn’t search for any of them. They just showed up. And honestly? Most of them were pretty spot on.
But somewhere between the 12th and 20th video, I paused and thought:
Wait—am I really choosing to watch this, or am I just going along with what’s being served to me?
The Invisible Hand Behind Your Clicks
Every app we use—YouTube, Instagram, even that random online store that somehow knew you were looking for a new backpack—is powered by algorithms that learn about you constantly.
Every tap, scroll, and pause is a clue. A piece of a puzzle that helps platforms figure out what grabs your attention—and what makes you click “add to cart.”
And here’s where things get interesting: these algorithms don’t just reflect what we like. They start to shape it. After a while, it gets hard to tell if we really want something or if we just think we do because it keeps popping up.
The Subtle Shift from Wanting to Buying
Let’s say you’re browsing online and click on a pair of shoes you’ve been thinking about buying.
But then:
An hour later, an ad for the same shoes pops up on your Instagram feed.
Tomorrow, a similar style appears on your favorite shopping site.
A week later, you get a 15% off email.
Now those shoes aren’t just a passing thought. They’re in your head. You start to think: I need new shoes. If I miss this 15% deal, it might not come back.
Believe me, it’ll be back. They’ll need to attract new sales in the coming months anyway.
Was that your desire all along? Or was it planted—slowly, subtly—by a system designed to turn curiosity into consumption?
This is how algorithms work. Not just predicting, but prescribing. Feeding us ideas, products, even identities that we start to internalize as our own.
The Illusion of Choice
The tough truth is this: much of what we think we’re choosing is being chosen for us.
When you scroll through a product feed, browse movie recommendations, or even “discover” a new brand—it’s rarely random. These platforms have learned what works on you, and they use that knowledge to gently steer you toward something.
Not because they’re evil. But because their job is to keep you engaged, interested, and ideally, spending.
It’s not mind control. But it’s not exactly freedom, either.
So, What Can We Actually Do?
I’m not saying algorithms are bad. They can be helpful, even delightful. But we need to stay aware, or we risk living in a digital echo chamber of our own past behavior.
Here are a few ways I try to stay in control:
Pause before acting. Ask: Do I really want this, or is it just what’s been shown to me most often?
Interrupt the pattern. Try searching for things manually. Visit new sites. Explore outside the “Recommended for you” section.
Support transparency. As tech builders, we can advocate for platforms that explain why things are being shown—and give users more power to shape their own experience.
A Little More Intention, a Lot More Freedom
Technology isn’t the bad guy. It shows us who we are—and sometimes makes things look bigger than they are. The more we understand how these systems shape our decisions, the more we can use them intentionally instead of passively.
So next time you're watching that 12th YouTube Short or eyeing that jacket that’s suspiciously followed you across five websites, just take a second.
Ask yourself:
Is this what I really want? Or is this just what wants me to want it?
A little awareness goes a long way.
Stay intentional.
Until next time,
Adlet
🎉 Nearly 1,800 Readers soon! Thank You for Your Support!
You’re the real MVPs!
Loved this post? 💙 Just hit the like button below. It's a small favor from you, but it helps me grow a lot.
Stay curious!